A Drivers Blood Stained View
What in the name of Greek buggery makes some of you cyclists think that you can cycle three abreast down a public road and then look at car users like they’re a piece of shit when they honk their horn at you?
The very roads that you flagrant twats block is paid for by the people you are blocking! You arrogant cunts, can you not see that if everyone where as ‘green’ (you smug fucks) as you, there would be no money from road tax to pay for the upkeep of the roads that you looooove to claim as your own so much!
Would you all be quite as high and mighty cycling down a bumpy dirt track? I thought not!
Besides, it’s obvious that you’re all fit and healthy and congratulations to you, you lucky bastards! Some of us haven’t been afforded that luxury, does that therefore mean that in your utopian (somewhat fascist) society I would be forced to stay indoors? Or wreck my legs for life? How about a little bit less judgment and a little bit more getting the fuck out of my way?
You like to flaunt your abuse of common road courtesy and you like to do it right in front of people performing a famously stressful task, with anger problems (if you’re anything like me), in a giant lump of metal and petrol travelling at a fair old rate… What would happen if I were to actually lose my patience one day and abuse the rules of the road by sticking it in 5th and jamming the windscreen wipers on as I watch you rag doll over my car with an evil smile across my face and a chuckle in my gut?! There are literally NO words to describe the level of stupidity that you possess.
Back when I was cycling, I used to feel it my duty (as someone that fancied staying alive and not fucking up the life of an innocent car user) to keep out of the way as much as possible… Anyone who decides that 3 people can share one lane is literally begging for trouble… It only takes one pissed up joy rider to treat the road like a bowling alley and you’re all fucked!
And most fucked up of all is the fact that the people who are worst for it (through my experiences on the road) are the Royal Mail cyclists… They’re not bad on their own, but when you work just off the road that the sorting office is on, you’ll see 10 of them cut you up in two rows of 5, there has been a number of occasions where I’ve been really tempted to NOT stamp on the brake! And they STILL give you the evils when you sound your horn at them… Perhaps it could’ve been the unintelligible screaming and profanity, but it’s early in the morning and I’ve already had to deal with morons whose stupidity gets in the way of my life.
When you wake up in A&E with half a bike wedged up your arse, then you’ll understand that it would perhaps have been better to take the bus!
I like to follow a generic rule when dealing with objects larger or smaller than me on the road, it has very few modifiers; Objects smaller than me get out my way, I get out the way of those larger. Since I am usually on a bike (and a superbly courteous rider I am too, I would say) and I am not particularly easy to hurt, I submit that people on foot (being smaller than I) are subject to getting fucking hurt if they think they take priority where right of way is mine. Same for cars actually, although it is a damn sight harder to win that fight.
Never fuck with the rules of the road. It really is one of the few good place for rules to exist.
Similarly on those days I have to drive, something I prefer to avoid, I apply a modifier to the rule-set that encompasses things my size or larger. If you try to undertake me on the motorway when I am already peaking the speed limit, you fucking die.
It is a race that can not be won, trying to accelerate under a person who will only match your speed out of venomous spite, because as soon as you act like a self loving cock-hole on the road I believe your life is forfeit. And I’d not stop to spit on the corpse.
When you are driving, this is not time for a fucking phone conversation, it is not ok to undertake people because you feel the speed limit is wrong. People die out there, and I spend every moment in the car hoping to see such people become the victim. Hey! Put that phone to good use and call the last person who thought you were so god damn fucking important, see if they can put the blood escaping your husk on hold for you.
An aside? Cyclists really can be fucking worthless. I see them every day, giving me a bad rep. Well you know what? Take them out. I don’t care because I’d of given way to the car to begin with. Just make sure your wiper fluid is topped up, baby.